Archive of Articles Written By Martin Moran

 
A recent invitation to join a group of 25 Masters of Wine on a tour of Germany was one I couldn’t resist. Aside from Riesling being my favourite white grape, I'm embarrassed to say that I'd never visited a German vineyard. In fact the last time I'd been in Germany was in 1990 when I'd hitchhiked from Beaune to Amsterdam and ended up sleeping in a phone box in Düsseldorf when I'd gotten stranded late one night. Not the best of memories. This trip would surely offer something fonder to recall. I also wondered if popular stereotypes would be true? Would we be served sauerkraut and sausages as often as the Australians had served us meat pies on last year's trips? Would the locals be as humourless, stiff and efficient as legend has it? Would the red wines be dreadful?

DAY ONE

3.30am Alarm goes off at parents' house in North London, having come over from Dublin the day before. Going to be a long day. Exhausted already as previous night daughter awake half the night with earache. Brother has agreed to drive me to the airport and arrive bang on schedule at 5.00am. Realise I am only one of the party at the airport as the others have all sensibly booked on a flight leaving an hour and a half later! Not a good start. Could have done with the extra sleep.

6.20am Grab exit window seat after scrum and mad rush across the tarmac that Ryanair comically call 'your free choice of seat'. Trolley dollies are selling drinks, but even I can't face quarter bottle of Puglian red or white at 6.30am. No sight of Germany as plane swoops down out of wind, rain and cloud and bounces along runway before thankfully halting safely. German efficiency fails first test, as the wait to get through passport control would do JFK with a backlog of jumbos proud. Despite delay my bag hasn’t made it the hundred metres from the plane either. 

10.30am Finally meet up with most of rest of party. Delighted to find am not the only one who's never visited properly and is worried about facing days of stodgy dull food. Liz Robertson insists food was excellent on her last visit, which cheers us all up. Receive full itinerary and list of wines to be tasted. Resolve to get T-shirts made up next for next trip modeled on Motorhead's 'No Sleep till Hammersmith' tour with MW logo plus tour dates and 'No Sleep till Hahn` or similar emblazoned on them.

11.00am Board bus and head for first stop at Bingen Rochusberg. Driver gets lost as we circle through narrow suburban streets before finally reaching summit of a hill, housing impressive large church overlooking Rhine. Rest of party who've come via Frankfurt‑Maine on grown‑up airlines are here already. Must be a quiet place as we are big news ‑ a film crew will be following us all day plus a local state government minister to give a welcome speech as we admire spectacular views down the Rhine.

12.30pm Visit Reh Kendermann, best known for Black Tower. Presume plan is to start slow and wow us with a crescendo. To paraphrase John Cleese in Fawlty Towers, instruction goes round not to mention the 'L word (Liebfraumilch): I mentioned it once, but think 1 got away with it." File in to lecture room and the sound of rumbling stomachs is deafening, so they suggest we eat sandwiches before seminar. Remarkably only water to drink. John Salvi says pointedly that it's the first wine lunch he's attended in thirty years without wine! Before seminar there's obligatory tour of bottling hall. Eyes and ears glaze over as charming young Jurgen Hoffman guides us round bottling line churning out magnums of Black Tower at unfeasible rate. Decide to bring a toy mouse on next visit to one of these surgically clean places to freak hosts out. 

2.30pm Liz Stich gives interesting lecture on developments in Kendermann’s winemaking and marketing. Riesling is the focus, wines becoming drier and terroir is the future. Wines are pretty good and fair value. Tactfully they don’t offer any of their best selling product, but by now many are curious to try it, however no one dare mention the ‘L’ word.

4.00pm Free red t-shirts bearing legend 'Rieslings to be cheerful' handed out before boarding bus to hotel and already a couple of hours behind schedule. Allocated own room. Stories of my snoring have clearly preceded me. 

6.00pm Lecture about German wine market and classifications from Steffen Schindler. Resist temptation to ask about 'lists'. Biggest development is introduction of new labeling regulations involving 'Classic' and 'Selection' designations. Slightly embarrassed not to have heard of this, but straw poll reveals about half of party hasn’t either! Oh yes, we MW's know it all. Not. 

7.00pm Bumpy bus ride to Weingut Johanninger for dinner but first there's a sekt (German sparkling wine) reception and another lecture and tasting. Sekt is served in beautiful, atmospheric, candlelit cellar but sadly it's sekt, not Champagne (whoops, did I write that or just think it?). Lecture and tasting is from Kirk Bauer of Mundus Vini Wine competition and a chance to taste some top scorers. A mixed bunch with a Basserman -Jordan Troken Riesling from Pfalz standing out as superb. 

9.30pm Finally sit down to dinner, which is first rate and includes, surprise, surprise, sauerkraut and a small pot of lard with pork bits in it. Probably goes straight to my arteries, but is terrifically tasty. Arrive back at hotel past midnight. Out like a light.

Wines Tasted: 23 Hours in Transit: 8 ½

DAY TWO

8.45am Tasting in hotel of pinots - that's blanc, gris and noir. Whites show well with exception of a couple of clumsy very heavily oaked wines. Pinot Noirs are much less convincing on the whole and prices staggering. Panel seminar on pinot and more wines. Pinot Noir from Weingut-Deutzerhof Cossman-Hehle in Ahr are my top wines and sadly very expensive.

11.30am Picnic at hanging rock or rather the spectacular, near vertical Roter Hang Vineyard in Nierstein for picnic and tasting. Probably farmed by mountain goats with ropes. Food is selection of sausages on sticks plus best walnut bread ever tasted. Wines are a revelation compared to rubbish usually sold under Nierstein name. My turn to offer thanks to hosts. Comment on wonderful bread and forget to mention wines! Salvi says that yesterday was lunch without wine and today is lunch without food.

1.30pm Scary bus ride south to Rainer Lingenfelder in PfaIz. Bus driver must think he's third Schumacher brother. Pick up Lingenfelder and head for vineyards. Bus takes wrong turning and spends 15 minutes attempting to three­ point turn. Lingenfelder gives talk about how good his soil is, a buff coloured crumbly calcareous silt called 'loess'. Insists on showing us three different vineyards with this soil. Others fascinated but my eyes glaze over. Driver takes forever attempting to get out of vineyards. Speculation persists that he picked up his driving skills in a tank.

4.00pm Finally get to taste Lingenfelder's wines. First up is an entirely natural sparkling wine called Satyr. Easily the best sekt ever tasted.(that’s not meant to damn it with faint praise) Lingenfelder has superb Rieslings, but tasting focuses on Scheurebes, which aren’t as interesting and reds made from Dornfelder, which, frankly, I find dull. Before leaving I have to give vote of thanks and present the commemorative Riedel glass engraved with the MW logo. Surprisingly nervous. Guess I don’t want to screw up in front of this lot. Thankfully it goes down well thanks to bad pun involving 'loess'.

5.00pm Courtyard at Von Buhl estate is jammed with expensively dressed Euro trash loading smart cars with cases of wine. Here for tasting by VDP, association of leading estates with controversial new grand cru style system, chaired by the wonderfully named Prince Michel zu Salm Salm. Jane Carr insists no one address him as Mike or Mickey. My alternate suggestion of 'The winemaker formally known as' flatly rejected. During tasting neighbour Kim Milne looks like he'll suffer whiplash as he repeatedly draws his nose back violently. Turns towards me with a pained expression mumbling, "Jeez, the sulphur levels on these wines are unreal." Burklin Wolf pips Von Buhl for best wines on show. Salvi gives memorable and funny vote of thanks speech.

Dinner is another bus trip away, back in Rheinhessen at the Wittmann estate. Charming Elizabeth Wittmann has cooked superb dinner served in art gallery. Pumpkin soup would rate 92/100 if it were wine. Wines tasted with dinner are from local young growers. Future looks good as all are superb.

Wines Tasted: 72,  Hours in Transit: 4 ½

DAY THREE

8.30am Once again, remarkably, the feckless Celtic fringe MWs (ie those who live in Ireland or have Irish surnames) are first on the bus and waiting for others as we set out for the Mosel. Nearly two bumpy, stop‑start hours later reach Bernkastel, which looks like it doubles as a Disney film set for medieval fairy stories, packed as it is with turreted castles, timber frame buildings and vineyards breaking like waves against vertiginous cliff‑like slopes above the river.

1 0.45am Cram into tiny room at JJ Prüm for fabulous vertical tasting of single vineyard wines back to 1983. Kim Milne's neck doing the whiplash thing again as he spots high sulphur levels, but despite this Prüm 's wines steal the limelight.

1.30pm Tasting and lunch on chartered boat with Ernie Loosen, who pours wines made from vineyards as we sail past them. Fabulous wines and breathtaking scenery. Must rank as one of the most memorable tastings ever attended.

6.30pm Seminar in hotel on Mosel riesling by Thomas Haag. Seems itinerant Polish workers have replaced Turks as source of most of the back-breaking vineyard labour these days. Kim Milne's neck suffers severe whiplash as once more sulphur wafts out of several glasses during tasting or sweeties including a divine Ferdinand Richter Eiswein.9.30pm. Miss dinner and get early night.

Wines Tastes: 45, Hours in Transit: 2 ½

DAY FOUR

10.45am Arrive at Henkell and Sohnlein after two bum-numbing hours with the psycho driver. Eves glaze over as they present sales pitch for newest brands designed to sell at stg£3.99 in the UK. Kim Milne asks if I'd smelt sorbate on one of them. The man clearly has a mass spectrometer rather than a nose. Kim checks with winemaker later who confirms us of sorbate!

Jugen Hoffrnan presents fascinating lecture on the Riesling grape followed by blind tasting of twenty rieslings from around the world. To my surprise I guess the origins of about 14 correctly. All Flemming tops class with 15. Lunch is a terrific buffet at which we finally get to try some Black Tower, which all agree is better than expected.

2.45pm Visit to Schloss Johannisberg. On the way John Taylor recounts funny stories of working here as an 18 year old, forty years previously. Stunning setting with old castle amidst vines overlooking the Rhine. Wolfgang Schleicher passionate about estate and its wines and rightly so, as he presents wonderful rieslings including wines from the fabled 1971 and 1945 vintages. Amazing that anybody had the resources or labour to make anything in 1945, but they did and it's still a beautiful wine.

6.30pm Markus del Monego, apparently known as 'The Pope of German wine' gives a lecture on sensory evaluation and how flavours in food and wine interact. Interesting, but can’t help thinking that if life is too short to stuff a mushroom, it's too short to think about matching a wine to said mushroom.

8.30pm Gala dinner with wines chosen by Markiis with food prepared by Michelin-starred chef Bernt Flemming, husband of Ali Flemming, the MW who organised most of the tour. Can't understand why she is so thin if she lives with a man who cooks like an angel.

11.30pm Last night away so several of us hit the bar and assorted minibars until about 4am.

Wines tasted: 50, Hours in Transit: 3

DAY FIVE

8.30am Famous Geisenheim Institute where Professor Monika Christmann gives tour with mixture of infectious enthusiasm and cynical wit. Each intake of students has been commemorated with a carved barrel end. Tactfully what was surely a swastika underneath the still visible classic German eagle has been chipped off the class of 1939's barrel end!

12.00pm Last visit is to Robert Weil. Give tour of cellar a miss and sit in sun wishing hangover would end. Short, simple but sensational tasting of Rieslings.

1.30pm Slump in taxi back to Hahn airport. Careless packing means Ryanair sting me for excess baggage charge. Change planes and clothes at Stansted. Dressed like Michelin man manage to sneak back under weight limit at 14.9 kilos.

8.00pm Home in Dublin and shattered.

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